The Food Place

Welcome!
Everything is fine.

Enjoy the food and drink you remember from Eleanor and friends’ time on Earth, in the fake Good Place, the Bad Place, and the real Good Place.

Open Tuesdays + also July + sometimes never

❤️ Recommended
🔥 The Bad Place Specialty

Hors d’oeuvres

Madison’s Delish Nachos2.12Definitely not vegetarian.
#1 Human Stuff Nachos4.04Salty, crunchy, cheesey, with a little bit of a kick.
Eleanor’s Pre-Spider-Man 2 Chips & Salsa1.09
Donkey Doug’s Pepperoni Hot Pockets3.05Served in its microwave cardboard sleeve.
Larry Hemsworth’s Vegemite Canape3.03The Australian fare you crave (like those other, more accomplished Hemsworth brothers).
Torture Simulation Salmon Crudite4.11Farm-raised salmon canape. We support sustainable fishing.
P.T.A. Meeting Cheese Plate3.06Enjoy a paper plate piled high with sliced and cubed deli cheeses.
Museum of Human Misery Platter2.10
As terrible as you’d expect it to be:
- Soul food from Maine
- Bagels from Arkansas
- Hawaiian pizza
- Egg salad from a hospital vending machine in Azerbaijan
Thursday Night Drinks Mozzarella Sticks1.02Perfect for an evening drive through the giant loophole in the system you accidentally discovered.
Pigs in a Blanket4.12Perfect for a Florizona British Library Extravaganza.
Jason’s Jalapeño Poppers Challenge1.09Eat 50 poppers in under two minutes to break the record and impress all the workers at the nearby hospital.Comes with cheesy fries with Donkey Sauce and the cool hat.

Soups

Real Eleanor’s Tom Yum Goong Soup1.09The lemongrass and kaffir lime leaves will remind you of Thailand and rescuing victims of human trafficking.
Chidi2.01Not your typical name, but Chidi is in fact not a soup.
Chidi’s Regretful Pumpkin Soup1.10A great decision! (Actually maybe not, better order the risotto.)

Our Famous Clam Chowder

Trevor’s Manhattan Clam Chowder1.08A specialty of the Trans-Eternal Railway dining car (closed). Clams in a tomato broth, served room temperature.
Traditional New England Clam Chowder2.02Hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons. A savory latte with bugs in it. Scoop a cup at the chowder fountain or take a dip in the lazy river.

Shawn’s “Someone” Soup2.09Extra spicy with hand-tortured human. So random! 😂
Michael’s Saltine Cracker1.07Go out on a low note with this accompaniment. Pretty dry. And too salty.

Fruits de Mer

Buzzer Beater Lightly-Expired Cocktail Shrimp1.12A Coyote Joe’s Marketplace 99¢ special all the way from Phoenix, Arizona.
❤️ Big Party Cocktail Shrampies1.01Save some for later in your bra or your many, many cargo pants pockets.
Large Bucket of Popcorn Shrimp3.07Perfect for movie watching with your soulmate.
Eleanor’s Neverending SHRIMP! Dispensary2.05
Fill a margarita glass to the brim with lightly-fried shrimp. Then do it again and again. Top it off with one of our signature sauces:
- Mountain Blast
- All-American Funky Circus Mustard
- Sriracha Sunrise
- Garlic
- Mystery (hint: rhymes with shite shmocolate)
- Cool Ranch
- Cajun
- Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One
Jason’s Farewell Raw Oyster Bar4.13
Lobster Tail4.13Stand behind your parents and watch them enjoy this classic of the sea with Oscar de la Renta.

Brunch

Stack of Pancakes3.11The Interdimensional Hole of Pancakes’ famous recipe.
Mini Waffles1.05Tahani knows how to do brunch. Enjoy with a yogurt parfait.
Linda’s Special4.01A big boring glob of plain yogurt.
Chidi’s Oatmeal and Almond Milk4.09Our fridge knows exactly what you want.
Croissant4.13Perfect for when it’s overcast and chilly.

Fresh Fruit

Arizona Junk Breakfast!3.07A Sandy Spoon original: “Grand Canyon” pancake stack, double-fried eggs, Grandma’s bacon, and a side of signature jalapeño poppers with Ranch!
❤️ Tahani’s Maple Butter Scone1.03They look a little bit burnt. But they’re not!
Tower of Bagels2.02Add a flavored cream cheese, provided by From Schmear to Eternity.

Eggs

Chocolate Muffin2.01
Blueberry Muffin3.01Order a full basket for your friend in the hospital.
Soulmate Muffins1.06Two for the price of zero.
Sink Hole Donut Holes1.05You might think it’s too soon and it is. By exactly nine days.
Box of Donuts4.07Everyone likes a box of donuts. They’d for sure save it from a sink hole.
Giant Mini-Donuts4.12Not just regular donuts. Ask your server to have Dave explain.
Michael’s Time To Go Nuts Donuts4.13Grab a box for your next council meeting.
🔥 Dunkin’ Spiders3.01Pair with your favorite flavor of antimatter.
Chidi’s Whole Bottle of Tums4.03Start your day right and be a Superman (with diarrhea).

Snacks

Atomic Cheese Balls1.09Cheesey and lightly puffed. Bring some home to enjoy in your bud hole.
❤️ All the Dorito Flavors1.11Share and discuss with your not-a-girl-friend.
Assorted Potato Chips1.12
All the chips you can sweep into your cart from the second-from-the-top shelf at the grocery store.
- Sea salt
- Cheddar with ridges
- BBQ frosting
- Corn chips
- Sour cream and onion
Lord Vivian’s Vinegar-Drenched Cuttlefish Crisps2.09A tangy treat for your hot air balloon ride to The Good Place.
“Skipping Class” Prawn Crackers3.02
Bowl of Cheetos2.04Drown out the sound of your mother telling you your dog died. Chewing it will be deafening.
Movie Theatre Popcorn1.09Buy it with points, baby! Your points!
River Popcorn4.01Enjoy a bucket scooped fresh from the Popcorn River.
Movie Night Popcorn4.13Perfect for a rewatch of Home Alone with the fam.
Mindy St. Claire’s Bar Peanuts1.12Sorta salty. Very medium.
Fruit By The Foot That’s Gone Bad1.10It’s actually electrical tape on the roll.
Eleanor’s Rite-Aid Special2.05A Baby Ruth and a refill of birth control.
Marbelized Janet2.06Can be eaten as a mid-day snack. Very high in potassium, like a banana!
Derek’s Crackers & Easy Cheese3.11
Jason’s Jar of Peanut Butter4.03A metaphorical jar you’re going to open by accomplishing a task you’ve embarked on.
🔥 Trevor’s Can of Nuts1.08(Spoiler: It’s a lightning snake.)
🔥 Human Piñata Goo4.02Doesn’t taste as good as candy.
Bagel Bites4.06When things get heated, take a break with this classic snack.
Chidi’s Warm Pretzels4.10If you’re going out, go out with a belly full of warm pretzels. Yummy, yum, yum!
Koulouri4.13A Greek variation of Chidi’s warm pretzels.

Shareables

Tahani’s Evening Tea1.03Served with an assortment of finger sandwiches and petit fours.
Janet’s Giant Submarine Sandwich2.06A submarine sandwich as long as Pinocchio’s nose. “I love your outfit!”
Brainy Bunch Chinese Takeout3.03For those late night study sessions. Don’t forget the fortune cookie!
Michael Realman’s Chinese Takeout4.13Share with your dog named after your friend from another life.
Tahani’s Charcuterie Board4.03Cured meats, fine cheeses and fruit. Pair with a chilled rosé.
Chidi’s Cheese Board4.09Sheep, goat, and cow’s milk. Is this enough cheese? I hope this is enough cheese.
Chidi’s Nihilism Chili3.04Spicy Stagg chili, marshmallow Peeps, and peanut M&Ms. You put the Peeps in the chili pot and you eat ‘em both up.
Welsh Tiny Finger Sandwiches4.05Perfect for your lakehouse party.
Tahani’s Full-Sized Party Sandwiches4.05
Jason’s Farewell Onion Ring Tower4.13

Favorites

Jianyu’s Block of Tofu1.04Be quiet and eat your white sponge.
❤️ Chidi’s Grandmother’s Maafe1.04Fresh perch, slow roasted in peanut sauce. Will make you forget how miserable you are right now.
Real Eleanor’s Hunger Strike1.04Reminds you of Bolivia and protesting sex trafficking.
Glenn’s Chicken Soup1.04This special soup saved over 10,000 lives.
Eleanor’s Shrimp Scampi3.09When you need to feel like yourself again.
Jason’s Exact Replica Buffalo Wings1.10From Ugly Nick’s Meat Trench (previously Stupid Nick’s Wing Dump which closed when a pelican fell in the deep fryer).

Entrées

Rotting Turkey Carcass1.02A fireball of turkey flesh, bones, and sinew.
Real Unicorn1.09You’ve never tasted anything like it. Served with unicorn bib and unicorn holders (like corn cob holders).
Mall Churro Dog1.08A hotdog but the bun is two churros, tied together with a Slim Jim. It’s an Arizona delicacy.
That Chicken Sandwich3.11Fried chicken on a bun with pickle chips. It’s delicious! Unfortunately, it means you hate gay people.
Raul Benitez’s Ham Sandwich3.02Did he finish it? I guess we’ll never know.
Brent Norwalk’s BLT4.01A familiar classic in a world that’s become too PC.
Jason’s Meatball Sub4.03The perfect treat to enjoy in your shiny new bud hole.
Janet’s Random Object Generator2.06A 14-oz ostrich steak impaled on a giant novelty pencil that says “Lordy, Lordy, I’m over 40.”
Trevor’s Steak & Baked Potato1.09Gonna make a primo dump later on.
Brent’s Surf & Turf4.02Lobster and steak dinner. Pair with an over-the-top Bloody Mary.
Sushi Roll Combo2.02Delivered fresh each day from Sushi and the Banshees.

Vegetarian Dishes

Pillboi’s Burrito & Guac1.11Disclaimer: May cause diarrhea.
❤️ Judge Gen’s Burrito2.11Give it a kick with the Concept of Envy hot sauce.
Taco Bell Burrito4.12Taco Bell is the perfect snack after smoking some weed and changing the afterlife.
Just Married Tacos3.04The perfect honeymoon treat for when you marry your friend in order to give him all your money.
Good Mexican Food from Mexico3.11When you’re an immortal being and want the real human experience on Earth.
Slice of Hawaiian Pizza2.01Straight out of Hawaii 5-Dough’s oven!
Eleanor’s Bedside Toaster Pizza2.12Hey, we’ve all been there.
Vince’s Frozen Pepperoni Pizza2.12Pair with Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One.
100 Hawaiian Pizzas1.08We can also deliver directly to your office.
Tahani’s Perfect Pizza4.13
Jason’s Spaghetti Disc4.13We know it looks weird, but we bit off a chunk and actually, it’s pretty bad.
Beef Wellington4.13Filet of steak with pâté and duxelle, wrapped in puff pastry.
Tahani’s Risotto4.13A little sticky. No! Actually it’s amazing.
Michael Realman’s Frozen Meal4.13Be careful removing from microwave. It will be hot!

Sides & Sauces

Eleanor’s Side of Mushrooms2.01She loved them and can honestly say that.
Disappointing Soulmate Rice Bowl2.01This guy can’t hold a camel to your real best friend.
Handful of Olives from the Salad Bar2.07Don’t listen to that little tiny voice in your head.
One Pickle Short of a Pickle Party2.12
🔥 Nascar Ketchup2.10
The Concept of Envy2.10Give your Mexican food a kick!
Tahani’s Tahini1.05An unfortunate misspelling in your parents’ will, but a delicious sauce for dipping.
Nacho Cheese Flavored Tears3.10From your very favorite movie theatre.
Toilet Full of Broccoli4.07Just like Brent!
Bad Janet’s Spicy Mayo4.10A special from Bad Janet’s void. A jar of mayonnaise with a stick of dynamite.
Music You Can Eat4.12Maybe this could make The Good Place better somehow?

🔥 The Selection Takeout

Cocktails & Spirits

Wine & Champagne

French Poet’s Select1.05Enjoy a bottle in a rowboat on the lake.
Donna Shellstrop’s Rosé1.12Served chilled on ice with a straw.
Jessica’s Liquid Courage Wine2.01
Classic Red or White2.01Deep down in your heart of hearts you probably already know which one you want.
Million Dollar Bottle of Wine4.13From a schmancy restaurant, but tastes exactly like cheap stupid wine.
Jason’s 8/13 Champagne2.04It’s the best. Cheers from one 8 to another.
Gwendolyn’s Recursive Thanks Champagne3.10When you need to thank someone for thanking you for thanking them...
Champagne by Jean Ralphio2.12Turn that frizown upsidizity.
Celebratory Champagne4.03Delivered to your table or picnic by ants.
Tahani’s Farewell Champagne4.13Served by a talking panda bear.

beer

Energy Drinks

Bottomless Beverages

Doug Forcett’s Canada Water3.08Eco-friendly, filtered compost toilet water. Served with the choice of ice or a coozy.
Correspondance Center Water3.10Dip a glass in the glowing bowl of liquid (maybe a toilet).
Oprah’s Mushroom Water4.03Fresh water from her estate in Maui with mushrooms from her private bog in the Pyrenese mountains. Tastes like candy!
Perrier4.02On-demand bottles or personal rain cloud.
Morally Ambiguous Almond Milk1.13
Jianyu’s Yak’s Milk2.01
The Good Place Milkshake4.12Made out of actual stardust. Try two!
Stupid Nick’s World Famous Sauce Shake4.13Vanilla ice cream and coffee blended with your choice of sauce form an icy hot treat.
🔥 Tall Glass of Piping Hot Corn Syrup2.10
Judge Gen’s Sodas2.11Purchase a collectible glowing coaster.
Coke or Water4.12Whichever you choose, Janet can help.
Tab Cola4.05Ice cold from Mindy St. Claire’s refrigerator.
Free Will Iced Tea3.07
Janet’s Chai There3.12
Chidi’s Hot Tea3.02Or a regular temperature Xanax.
Root Beer Thrown in the Microwave3.02The closest thing to an herbal tea.

Antimatter

Andy’s Coffee1.03Scorpion-free (we think).
The Fake Good Place Coffee1.02Finally, a to-go cup that doesn’t leak.
Coffee From Those Little Pods2.01Diabolical.
Unnecessarily Complicated Pourover4.13For the coffee snob. From Murray & Mande’s Coffee.

Moral Dessert

Flan Voyage1.07Custard and caramel is a perfect sendoff for your friend’s retirement.
Fake Eleanor’s Cookies & Lemonade1.11Gooey chocolate chip cookies are necessary when asking your neighbors for forgiveness.
Trevor’s Lemon Bars3.02No one bad could make lemon bars this good.
Chidi’s “Make Your Own” Sundae2.01Vanilla ice cream with kiwi, Junior Mints, and raisins. Don’t commit to a fruit or chocolate palate until it’s too late.
Chew On My Ass... Sortment of Brownies2.12Bring some to a coworker’s baby shower.
❤️ Four Oreos from Heaven3.10This cookies ‘n‘ cream treat will make you forget you’re just a door’s width from paradise.
Tahani’s French Macaron Tower1.07Adds an elegant touch to any event.
Simone and Chidi’s Chocolate Mousse4.06Fluffy mousse over chocolate fudge, topped with whipped cream and raspberries.
More Chocolate Chocolate4.12An attempt to make The Good Place even better.

Piece of Cake

Candy Bar

Severance Handful of Butterscotch Candies1.09Grab ‘em on your way out. Peace!
Complementary FNB Lollipop3.04One lollipop per customer (unless you walk out and back in).
Lollipop That Lets You Talk to Birds4.07Do you believe in some magic?
Linda’s Peppermint4.01Make it more interesting with an optional sprinkle of cocaine.
Jason’s Distraction Caramel4.04
The Good Place Smarties4.12Gives you the energy you had when you were twelve.
The Good Place Ring Pops4.12Finally you can fully understand the meaning of Twin Peaks.
Blue Cotton Candy4.13Who’s ready for Six Flags?

Frozen Yogurt

“There’s nothing quite as human as making something great and ruining it a little so you can have more of it.”

Tahani’s One Million Flavors1.02You can taste each individual one. It’s remarkable!
Michael’s No Flavor1.02It’s all you deserve.
Jason & Janet’s Honeymoon Froyo1.11
The Final Food You Might Ever Eat1.12With rainbow sprinkles!
Jason’s Special2.03Strawberry with gummy bears, sour Brite Crawlers, and Pocky.
The Gang’s Last Froyo 2.09One last hurrah before your hot air balloon ride to The Good Place.

Froyo Flavors

True potential as brilliant
No traffic
Sunshine
Peace
Free samples
A mother’s love
Strawberry vinaigrette
Clothes right out of the dryer
Wasabi
New line opens up at airport security
Rocky road
Hot shower
Recognized actor’s voice from commercial voiceover
Persimmon
Sleeping in on a rainy Sunday
Unmitigated joy
Cherry
Kimchi
Weekend
Mars landing
Empty inbox
Sleeping in
Baby kittens
Three-day weekend
Tin roof sundae
Sriracha
Unexpected hotel upgrade
Sweet potato fries
A clean house
Pralines and cream
Haircut compliment
Nebula
Slight raise
Boysenberry
Your favorite theme song
Grape
Millenial confidence
Kindness
Second kiss, first is awkward
Game-winning home run
Double rainbow
Four-day weekend
Cilantro
Blueberry
Fantasy football champion
Inside jokes
Potato chip
Panopoly of existence
Macaroni and cheese
Neopolitan
Touchdown
Bubblegum
7-layer dip
Jeans that fit well
Puppy cuddles
Job promotion
Summer breeze
Snow day
Technological breakthrough
Coconut
Orange sherbet
Soft, fresh sheets
[indescribable but delicious]
Hot air balloon ride
When the lights go down at a concert
Maine lobster
Cancelled plans
Guava
Finding out your true bra size
The sound of the ocean
Fall foliage
NBA smackdown goes into overtime
A good night’s rest
Fast food
Game-winning shot
Satisfying TV finale
Peeling an orange in one piece
Prosciutto
Raspberry sorbet
Your fifth birthday cake
Caramel macchiato
The perfect high five
Triple chocolate chunk
Skinny dipping
Perfect avocado
Candy cane
New York pizza slice
You’re the thinnest at your 10-year-reunion
Newborn baby
Fast wi-fi
Completed crossword
Corner brownie
One-handed baseball catch
Baklava
Full cellphone battery
Finding a kidney donor
How skinny feels
Handwritten note in the mail
Caramel corn
Bacon-wrapped hot dog
Beyoncé concert
Good book
Wisdom
Baby laughter
Cookies ‘n’ cream
Sweet basil
The softness of a puppy’s tiny ears
Bubble wrap
Cookie dough
Your grandma’s apple crisp
Candlelight
Yellow curry
The perfect mixtape
Learning to tie your shoes
Good online date
A job well done
Smiles
Fixing a problem
Summer vacation
Perfectly removed sticker
Peanut butter cup
You look and feel great at your reunion
Pumpkin pie
Stardust
Vanilla fudge ripple
The cool side of your pillow
Glazed ham
Fresh churro
Perfectly fitting jeans
Gilmore girls is back!
Last puzzle piece
Laughter
Beyoncé compliments your hair
Beautiful music
Sitting by the fireplace
Hot bread
Catching a wave
Strawberry cheesecake
Your first kiss
Banana cream pie
Monterey jack
Fresh cut grass
S’mores
Five-dollar-bill you find in your pocket unexpectedly
Caller doesn’t leave a voicemail
Achieved goals
Grandma’s kisses
Making the yellow light at an intersection
Umami
The perfect ratio of peanut butter to jelly
Tahitian vanilla
Seedless watermelon

The Food Place

Welcome!
Everything is fine.

Hors d’oeuvres

Soups

Our Famous Clam Chowder

Fruits de Mer

Brunch

Fresh Fruit

Eggs

Snacks

Shareables

Favorites

Entrées

Vegetarian Dishes

Sides & Sauces

🔥 The Selection Takeout

Cocktails & Spirits

Wine & Champagne

beer

Energy Drinks

Bottomless Beverages

Antimatter

Moral Dessert

Piece of Cake

Candy Bar

Frozen Yogurt

Froyo Flavors

Partners & Suppliers

Sydney

Paris

Calgary

Florida

Arizona

The Fake Good Place

The Good Place

Welcome!Everything is fine.

Hors d’oeuvres

Soups

Our Famous Clam Chowder

Fruits de Mer

Brunch

Fresh Fruit

Eggs

Snacks

Shareables

Favorites

Entrées

Vegetarian Dishes

Sides & Sauces

🔥 The Selection Takeout

Cocktails & Spirits

Wine & Champagne

beer

Energy Drinks

Bottomless Beverages

Antimatter

Moral Dessert

Piece of Cake

Candy Bar

Frozen Yogurt

Froyo Flavors

Partners & Suppliers

Sydney

Paris

Calgary

Florida

Arizona

The Fake Good Place

The Good Place

Welcome!
Everything is fine.